And In The End, I'd Do It All Again
by GoddessArtemis1999
Summary: A series of Spoby one-shots. Request an idea! Title from "The Kids Aren't Alright" by Fall Out Boy.
1. And In The End

**And In The End, I'd Do It All Again**

Hey guys so I'm going to be making a bunch of Spoby oneshots. If you have any ideas, just send them in a review and I'll start writing them as soon as possible. Love ya!

~A


	2. Chapter 1 - How Did We Get Here?

**Chapter 1 – How Did We Get Here**

**This chapter was requested by alexismariazavalalozada, who asked for a one-shot about 5x24. Here you go! Title is from Decode by Paramore.**

SPOV 

It was late at night when he came. He knocked on her door and asked, "Can I come in?" He didn't wait for a response as he breezed through her and walked over to the kitchen island.

She closed the door behind him and walked halfway the distance between the island and the door.

"I have done a lot to get that," Toby started as he threw his badge on the table. "I got my butt kicked in the Academy for it, I fought with my Dad about it, I even got a buzz cut!"

Spencer nervously looked down, but secretly she was thinking, 'Yeah, that haircut looked really good.'

Toby continued, "I did it, because I was tired of not being able to protect the one person in this world that matters most to me, and I'm not gonna choose Spencer, I'm not gonna choose between it and you."

"I never asked you to," Spencer started to say, but Toby cut her off.

"I know. But Tanner has. And that's why I'm gonna tell her if she is not okay with me being with you, and being a cop, then she's gonna have to kick me off the force."

Spencer stared at him with wide eyes.

Toby suddenly strolled over and kissed her.

It was just like the first time. However, unlike the first time, where they separated after a few seconds, they kept on kissing. They kept on making it deeper and deeper. Toby wrapped his arms under her legs and picked her up. She wrapped her arms around his neck and disconnected her lips to start kissing his neck.

"Mm. Wait, Spence, stop."

"What's wrong?" Spencer asked, her eyes unfocused and her lips swollen.

"We can't do this here. Not where your parents or friends can walk in. We just need to go upstairs and if we don't stop I would never be able to make it up the stairs."

Spencer giggled and buried her face in his neck while Toby carried her upstairs. He laid her gently on the bed and got on top of her to start again, but she lightly pushed him off. She rolled on her side to face him.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing," Spencer said. "I just… I mean we can't do this."

"Why not?" Toby asked, looking sad. "Are you still mad at me?"

"Mad at you? Why would I be mad at you?"

"Because I put my job before our relationship," Toby sighed.

"No!" Spencer exclaimed. "I'm just… pissed at myself, that's all."

"Why?" Toby asked, concerned.

"I… I did something… something really bad…" Spencer started as she pushed herself into a sitting position.

"Spence… you're starting to scare me here," Toby said as he sat in a similar position as her.

"I… I mean I didn't… I mean, Jonny kissed me. The night you arrested him? After he came home… I mean back – back to the house… he kissed me. And… I didn't push him away. I… I think I – I might have kissed him back…"

Toby looked like he was about to cry, and when he looked like he was about to say something, Spencer cut him off again.

"No, wait, there's more. Please, I need to get this out. When I went to England… I stayed with Melissa… and yesterday, in the courthouse, I told you he helped me through some… things… he took me to a play that I'd always wanted to see, and then we went to get drinks because I could legally drink there… and I might have… kissed him. It didn't mean anything, I swear, I just – "

"You kissed him?" Toby asked. He didn't sound mad or angry, he just sounded… defeated.

"I don't know!" Spencer exclaimed. "It all happened so quickly, one minute we were just talking and the next… he was kissing me and I was kissing him back."

"Oh," Toby said, looking down.

"Tobes…" Spencer started, gently touching his shoulder. "Please don't be mad – "

"I'm… not, not anymore. I mean, how could I be mad when I was so horrible to you? I don't blame you."

"I blame myself!" Spencer cried. "Please, just be angry with me! You can't be this forgiving! Yell at me, fight with me, _something_!"

"I don't want to yell or fight!" Toby exclaimed. "I just want to put this behind us and get on with our lives. Do you think we can do that?"

Spencer looked down. She wanted to say yes, and she wanted to thank Toby for being understanding, but she knew that if their roles were reversed, she would be pissed at him for cheating on her, no matter what the situation.

"I don't… I don't know."

"Spence…" Toby started slowly. "Do you… want to break up?"

Spencer stared at the bedspread, her eyes following the design quietly. Did she want to break up? Was he insane? Of course she didn't want to break up. But at the same time, she didn't think she deserved a relationship. She cheated on him twice, and even when they had broken up other times, Toby didn't even want to look at any other girls. And they weren't even broken up when she cheated on him.

"No," Spencer started. "But you can't just forgive me like that. It's impossible."

"Spencer, we've been to hell and back together. If we could get through Mona being –A, breaking up too many times to count, and… everything else in between, if you can forgive me for being on –A's side and… not coming to you when you thought I was dead… Honestly? That was a lot worse than you kissing two random guys. As long as nothing is going on with them now, and you said nothing is, then there's nothing to forgive. You made a mistake, we all do. It's not bad, Spence, it's human. Now will you please shut up and let me kiss you?"

Spencer smiled and pushed Toby down towards the pillows. She connected their lips, and, like before, their kiss got more and more intense.

Toby pulled back the covers and pulled them over the two of them.

He unbuttoned Spencer's shirt and threw it onto the floor as she pulled of his shirt. Without wasting another second, they discarded the rest of each other's clothing.

-xx-

They laid in each other's arms, tracing random patterns on each other.

"I will never get tired of this," Spencer murmured.

"Neither will I," Toby said, smiling.

They pressed their lips together in a chaste kiss and after whispering 'I love you' one last time to each other, they fell asleep.

**Hope this is good. Keep on requesting one-shots. I don't know how often I will be able to update, but as soon as I finish a chapter, I will post it. I will do all the requests, just be patient. **


	3. Melt Your Headaches, Call It Home

Melt Your Headaches, Call It Home

So this is from a guest: KC. "Toby finds Spencer and the girls but he helps Spencer deal with what happened in the "doll house". They all will probably be traumatised. So that would be great thanks!"

So this isn't about him finding her, but it helps deal with the aftermath. It's based off of what happened in 6x02, and there aren't really any spoilers and I did change some things, but watch the episode if you haven't yet.

Song title is from Northern Downpour by Panic! At the Disco

Spencer stumbled through the thick sheet of rain, hugging her jacket tighter around her.

The storm was really starting to pick up, and Spencer stupidly thought to walk to Toby's.

Her mom was at the police station, trying to figure out a way to get Andrew to stay in jail. However, after Emily's call, Spencer wasn't too sure it was Andrew. Of course, she wanted to blame him, but could she really? She was just as bad as the rest of Rosewood if she automatically assumed that he was bad without enough evidence.

Sure, he was found near the Dollhouse, the van was there… but what if Toby was right? What if Andrew had been set up? There was no way he could be smart enough to pull this –A thing off for years, yet stupid enough to leave pressing evidence right near the scene of the crime.

Spencer and Toby's date did not go great. It started out fine enough, but after a while, they couldn't ignore the elephant in the room.

They started talking about Andrew, and Toby wanted to know exactly what happened in the Dollhouse.

She refused.

It was hard enough to sleep at night; did he really think she wanted to share the cause of her pain? He didn't pressure her into telling him, just saying that he would be there if she wanted to talk.

Even though he claimed it was okay, it definitely wasn't. The rest of their date was tense, awkward… it was ruined.

So here she was, walking through the pouring rain in the middle of the night. She knew it was stupid; if Andrew wasn't Charles, then Charles was still out. He could catch her, but she didn't care anymore. Nothing he did to her anymore would compare to what he did in the Dollhouse.

'Don't go there, Spencer,' she warned herself. She had been having horrible flashbacks of what it had been like, and she had been scaring herself into thinking that they never got out and it was all an illusion.

At long last, she got to the loft. She climbed the back stairs and weakly knocked on the door.

Toby opened up, obviously awoken from sleep. His eyes opened wide when he say her shivering on his doorstep.

"Spencer," he whispered. "What are you doing here? It's pouring rain, it's the middle of the night… are you okay?"

He looked her up and down, as if looking for any injuries she could be hiding from him. Then he gently grabbed her arm and pulled her inside, pretending not to notice that she flinched when he touched her.

"I'm fine," Spencer muttered distractedly. "I just feel horrible."

"Why?" Toby questioned, his bright blue eyes boring into her dark brown ones. "Are you sick?"

"No… yes. I'm sick of feeling terrified. I'm sick of not being able to sleep at night. And I'm sick of always pushing you away and you always being disappointed in me and us never being on the same page! And I'm sick that you keep of making me talk to you about what happened when I obviously want to forget about it! It was hell down there, and I don't want to remember it anymore! I don't want to do anything, I just want it all to go away…" She turned away from him suddenly, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Is that really how you feel?" Toby asked.

Spencer shrugged. "Sometimes…"

"Spencer…" he drew out her name in the way that always made her knees go weak. "Baby, why is this the first time you've brought it up? Is this what was distracting you earlier? I don't want you to think that I'm forcing you to talk about it. Yeah, I do want to know, but if you don't want to tell me that's fine! You can tell me whenever you're ready. Or don't tell me ever, if you don't want to."

Spencer suddenly turned back to him with tears in her eyes. "Toby," she whispered, throwing herself at him.

He caught her like it was second nature and held her while she cried. He picked her up and carried her upstairs to his bed. He held her there until her sobs quieted down, doing nothing but rocking her back and forth, whispering that he loved her in her ear. When she quieted down, he gently asked, "Do you want to change into anything more comfortable?"

"Yeah," Spencer smiled softly, sniffling.

Toby gently laid her down on the bed, going to his dresser and pulling out one of his shirts and some black shorts she always left at his place for times like this.

"Arms up," he gently commanded, pulling her wet shirt over her head and sliding his dry one over her body. Then she took her pants off and let him slide the shorts up her mile-long legs.

He pulled her up to the pillows and she nestled against him.

"Did you really mean what you said before? About…. How you thought I was disappointed in you?"

Spencer shrugged, not offering a verbal reply.

"Baby, I could never be disappointed in you. You are the strongest person I know. I love you."

"I love you too," Spencer admitted.

Toby pulled the covers back and Spencer got in, Toby following shortly after.

"Think you'll be able to sleep now?" Toby asked.

Spencer nodded.

"Goodnight, babe. I love you," Toby whispered, kissing Spencer's forehead.

"I love you too," Spencer replied again.

-xx-

An hour after they last spoke, Toby and Spencer were sound asleep, limbs tangled within each other.

Suddenly Spencer shot up, gasping for air, waking up Toby in the process.

"Spence, are you okay?" Toby asked frantically, pulling her close.

Spencer could do nothing but shake her head, holding on to Toby for dear life, crying.

"Shh, baby, it's okay, let it out, I'll always be here for you, I love you," Toby said these words over and over, praying to God that Spencer wouldn't be in this pain much longer. He couldn't bear to see her upset.

"When I was in there," Spencer started suddenly.

"No," Toby said, releasing his hold on her. "You don't have to tell me."

"No," Spencer said quietly. "I need to get this out."

Toby stared at her, waiting for her to start.

"He made us… play games. Like truth or dare, would you rather… it was horrible. We got questions like 'Truth or Dare?' and the girls and I were terrified to pick dare. Our luck was bad enough, what if we were dared us to kill each other? The truths were always questions like, 'Do you like Aria or Hanna more?' If you waited too long to answer, you would all get punished. I picked Aria that time. The next thing we knew, the lights shut off and we heard a scream. When the lights turned back on, Hanna was gone. We were forced to listen to her being tortured. Then, we played Would You Rather. 'Would you rather have food or water for the next day? Would you rather Emily or Mona get fed tomorrow? Would you rather Ezra or Caleb get the call saying their girlfriend died… Luckily he never followed through with that one. I still had to pick though. I picked Ezra. Of course, Aria understood that I had to do it, but for the rest of that day, she looked at me like I betrayed her.

On other days, we would be locked in our rooms. We would have no food, no water… and then a voice came on saying, 'It's game time!' In the corner was a table and when we sat down, Charles came in and chained us to it. We had to pick who got tortured that day. And then we had to listen to it. One time Emily didn't pick fast enough. That was the worst day," Spencer stopped and looked to the side. "I'm sorry, I can't do this…"

Meanwhile, Toby was horrified. He knew it was bad, he just didn't know it was _this_ bad. So when Spencer said she couldn't talk about it anymore, he was a little thankful, because he didn't think he could hear anymore. He didn't know what to say. He just pulled her closer to him and rocked her back and forth.

"I'm so sorry baby… Sorry that you had to go through this, sorry that I couldn't protect you…"

"Toby," Spencer said cutting him off. "There's nothing you could have done."

"I became a cop to protect you, and then this happens!"

"Toby. This had absolutely nothing to do with you. We couldn't have prevented it."

"I just wish I could do something to help you," Toby muttered, feeling powerless.

"You can. Just hold me. And never let me go."

"I can do that," Toby smiled, holding her close. "I promise I won't let anyone hurt you ever again. I love you. So much."

Spencer smiled. "I wanted to say that first."

And with that, they kissed for a while and felt into a dreamless sleep.


End file.
